Saturday, May 17, 2008

unmotivated

i certainly haven't kept up with my exercise goals. i'm feeling really bad about it, and that's worse than i felt before i made the goal. ugh...i hate this stuck spot. to me, there's nothing worse than having nothing to blame but my own laziness. i abhor it.
i got the chateau back and it's ship-shape. it has a new fuel pump, an oil change, and the brakes were adjusted and are much grippier now. i'm still staying in a house which is fun, but i do miss rolling out of bed and into the outdoors. i feel cloistered away in this fancy lonely apartment looking out at the green leaves of this wet spring instead of touching them. hearing the birds sing muffled songs instead of crisp and close to my ear.
i still haven't figured out what i want to do for the winter. i'd like to at least make a visit to my family, and maybe live near one of the far flung aunts or uncles for a while. i just renewed my subscription to the caretaker's gazette, and i'm going to get the workamper guide as well, so maybe my winter answer will show up there.

3 comments:

I'm Chris Harne said...

Winter. Well, you know my advice. I barely want to say it again in case you're like "geez, give it a rest, yo." But still: Key West is one van paradise in the winter. Downside: it's far. Upside: it's literally a tropical island with lots of van dwellers, and a strong winter-based economy. I loved it.

I know how you feel about motivation. I want to tell you to take it easy on yourself, but I'll trust you to judge that. I have similar goals, and I try to take it easy on myself. Maybe I shouldn't though. Maybe I should be kicking myself into action.

No matter what happens in any case at all - at least you're way ahead of the game in my book, because at least you had these thoughts you're describing. If you didn't, you'd just be one more boring casualty. But no: you are aware of your existence, and you don't have everything figured out by purchasing and opening a box of answers from one source or another. If that makes sense. You think and act independent of questionable and boring influence. Congrats, yo.

T. said...

In my experience, when one feels lost, it's best to stay put until one is found.

Perhaps the lack of motivation and the quandary about winter plans mean something's in the works...on its way to find you.

Doesn't mean you can't roll outta bed and open the door to Spring, despite the frame construction. :)

stranger in a strange van said...

chris,
i have kept key west in my thoughts and a few people i've run into here were enthusiastic about it as well, so it's definatley up there on the option list. thanks for the encouragement, it means the world to me.