i lived in a van. i got out of debt. then, i moved to hawai'i.
Friday, May 23, 2008
i must be ovulating
the more i understand my body, the more i understand why i feel the way i feel. this past week i've been torturously hungry for the opposite sex. this is not my ususal state of being, i am often aloof and unavailable, but for some biological reason, i cannot keep my eyes off of attractive males. i think in part it has to do with e not talking to me. did i mention he hasn't called in weeks? he's going through some shit, and i understand that, but the message is abundantly clear--he wants nothing to do with me. i can't really blame him since i never was the girlfriend he wanted, but i think his method is cruel and a little immature. so i'm out looking for other men who might be interested, and for better or worse, i'm not finding any. well, not any that i'm interested in as well. i've got plenty of offers i would never take, but i'm looking for the one that gives me butterflies. i'm a romance junky, a believer in destiny, and a sucker for intriuge. add in the fact that i live in a van, and it can get complicated to even approach someone. so many chances for rejection, and i do hate rejection. it's always a war between what i want less--the chance for rejection, or the reality of being alone when i don't want to be.