tonight i'm sleeping in the old van because the chateau is in the shop getting a new fuel pump and an oil change. i put freyja in there and she was like "what the hell?!" i'm actually really grateful that i still have the van so i can do this. i want to sell it as soon as possible, but maybe it hasn't sold because i still need it. if i didn't have the old van still, my plan was to set up a tent in my parking spot while the repairs were getting done and ride my scooter to work. oh yeah, my scooter, i haven't blogged about that yet. i bought it a few months ago but have just recently been using it due to weather restrictions and laziness. it takes about 45 minutes to ride it to work from my spot because it only goes 25mph. it's a 1980 honda express in canary yellow, and i love it. it's like half the fun of a motorcycle at a sixteenth of the cost. no insurance, no registration, and it only cost 500 bucks. i'll try to post some pictures soon.
my boss is being really cool lately and asked me to housesit while he's out of town for a few days. he knows i live in the van, and he used to make fun of me, but now he has respect for it. i don't know what changed his mind, but i'm glad to be here now. in fact, that's my mantra--be here now, so simple, and it helps with the depression. i don't have to focus on the future or beat myself up about the past, just live the present moment in the best way i know how. i read a book called "the power of now" by eckhart tolle a few years ago and it's really brilliant. it addresses how to live in the now. simple but not easy. i should re-read it.
e won't return my phone calls, and i'm worried about him. maybe he'll read this and know that i miss him and want to be there for him. he shouldn't be alone at a time like this, it's not healthy. he's so stubbornly reclusive, he's too much like me!
in his absence, i've been up late drinking almost every night with my pals from work. not the greatest, i know, but it's something to do. the great thing about vandwelling is never risking a dui, just slip into bed and sleep!
desert heat/small doge/blind faith
3 days ago