Saturday, June 7, 2008

mostly about mom

i've barely had a chance to catch my breath since my parents left, work has been crazy busy and i'm ready to trade my left arm for some sleep. i've been thinking alot about my family and going around in circles trying to figure out what's good for me. having my mom and dad all to myself for 4 days was amazing, i don't think i've EVER had that much time alone with them. i notice how much we are alike, and how different our idea of the world/universe is and i wonder how this happens. i'm seeing parts of them i never saw before, or maybe just never appreciated. like how my mom is so generous emotionally, and her childlike curiosity is incredibly endearing. she's a brilliant woman with so many highly developed skills, yet there has never been any pretense or distance from my mother, she's just right there with me wherever i am. there is nothing more comforting than the tilt of her head and her bottom lip sticking out a little when i get all choked up. i sometimes wish i would have lived my life a little more like hers, but i don't even think it's possible these days. there aren't any guys like my dad left anyway... so now i'm bawling in the office at work after midnight just longing for another chance to connect with those who brought me into this world. and laughing at the retarded text my brother and sister in law sent me to welcome me to old. guess i better change that heading to "officially 30".

4 comments:

Mom said...

Thanks for the sweet post today. Wish I was there to give you a big hug. I love you.

Sub Girl said...

30 isn't nearly as bad as it can be made out to be. I'm quite enjoying myself. You still young enough to do silly young people things but old enough that "old people respect you and your input. Enbrace it! It's a good place to be. I miss my mommy, too.

I'm Chris Harne said...

Oh, all this 30 business. It seems so irrelevant. It's gotta happen. This is all life, and that's all you get. Pat yourself on the back for still being conscious of what's around you. And you do gotta change your blog heading now.

"I'm 30 years old, and I'm a badass awesome chick who lives in a van. I don't have a husband or any kids, and I don't want them because I'm busy doing whatever I want. Listen to me talk about van-life."

Sweet that you mom commented. Don't know if I need my folks commenting on my blog, 'cause pot references and general slight mayhem are still a little awkward to be open about. They still read it for sure. Internet: fair's fair.

Gloria Ives said...

The presence part is what Kids want most, and parents too. No matter what age, and when we're not we do miss out on a lot. But we always have the opportunity to reconnect, and to notice. Every-time we are near.