anger, revenge, frustration, these continue today, last night was pure rage. i was as fierce as i've ever been, but with no way to unleash it because the objects of these feelings are many miles away. a man that i love got beat up by his ex-wife's father over a tractor. this man is one of the kindest, most understanding people i've ever met. the ex's father showed up and saw that he had the tractor loaded up which was his per the divorce agreement (she got the house and everything esle) and proceeded to attack him as he came back from walking the dogs. wow, that's ghetto. these people all have guns, and the ex-wife's parents have proven their inferior intelligence on more than one occasion. he got the hell out, which he was preparing to do all along and is now arriving in upstate new york where he is starting a long awaited project. and i'm here feeling so pissed off and vengeful and hating that i feel this way. if i was there i would have smashed out all their windows and slashed their tires and poured raw sewage down their chimney. or something like that.
i'm not used to being so angry. it's not like me.
earlier this week i was so excited and happy because i met an interesting man at work. we went out for drinks and ended on what i thought was a very positive note, however he hasn't called in 3 days and now i wonder if i'm supposed to call him. i don't want to. i'm through with men who aren't sure if they're interested. fuck that. my rollercoaster of emotions is making me sick.
Long Distance Hiking Zine #1
4 days ago