Friday, January 23, 2009

the space of creation

fate has dealt another card on the table and changed what was a doubtful outlook on the flop to a secret smile on the turn, i'm betting with some confidence no matter what the river holds, though i'm still careful to maintain my poker face, it ain't over yet.

my interim living arrangements have solidified and become long-term. yesterday my mansion having friends offered to share their space with me long-term. i had been hoping they would, though i knew if i had to ask, i wouldn't. i would have rather moved into my little cabin than stay somewhere if i wasn't 100 percent sure it was going to be really cool. i am a little gun-shy to say the least.

i had to think it over, i'd already put a deposit down on the cabin, but staying here would pay for the loss of that in a week (it was only 125 dollars). would i regret staying here and not having my own private hermitage? or would i feel stupid writing a rent check every month when i could be paying off the debt that accrued from moving? my vandwelling ideals surged in my veins and the answer after a good nights sleep and some quiet meditation was a resounding yes, i'm staying! with no rent and no utility bills except gas for the mower, and butane for the stove (the house stove is broken, so we're 'roughing it'), plus guest quarters for any of my friends who come to visit *nudge, nudge*, and the opportunity to live with yet another awesome couple who are about to get married, it all added up to an offer i couldn't refuse.

it's become like my unspoken job to be the housemate who helps the couple prepare for their wedding, this will be the third time in 5 years, and i'm pretty dang good at it. this two are perfect for each other, yet another example of true love found. i'm guessing the reason i keep living with people like that is because i'm not supposed to give up on finding it myself. ok, fine.

my job is ok, i like artfully arranging the produce so it looks like a painting. i felt i'd reached a modicum of success when some japanese tourists took a picture of it. i got another raise, but i'm still making only slightly more than 1/4 what i made in denver.

now that i've stepped up my living situation, it's time to upgrade the income. i mailed off the registration for my business--i am now incorporated. i don't know what i'm going to do with it, the market is a less attractive possibility now that my market friends are no longer friends, but maybe it'd be just the thing to help heal the rift, i don't really know. i have a feeling i'd be better off elsewhere, and trusting my intuition is my new law. there is plenty of space here at home to have a massage studio, so i'm considering buying a used table and doing a little networking in that department.

i'm feeling out the possibilities, and things change by the hour, i'm in the space of creation, my eyes still adjusting to the light.


Maitreya said...

Follow your heart. It will steer you truer than anything. At least with no rent/utilities you have time to let the swirling possibilities settle and distill.
By the way, your van is beautiful. I hope she's in a safe place during your tropical adventure.
Safe journey.

Heather said...

Don't be surprise if Terry & I take you up on the *nudge nudge* Our 10 year anniverary is in June and we wanted to do something big!