when you give up

plans are hatching, hands are holding, and i'm thinking i landed in the right place. twists of fate aren't always this immediately apparent, so perhaps i'm being fooled, but i don't care, fools are always having fun despite the risks.

who is he? good question. i think i manifested him. i'd like to take the credit, but he thinks he's been waiting here for me. either way, it's in the nick of time for both of us. i had filed my desires for a real live right here kind of mate in the 'i give up' department. finally, i had some peace, i would just work on myself, travel, read, and write letters to my caged creature in winterland. i'd lay out my next adventure and plot my solitude like i was already old and wizened. people would wonder what why i never married, why none of my lovers stuck it out with me, but it would seem right, a fitting destiny for an oddity. and hey, for all i know i'll be back on that track once he reads this blog and finds out how contrary i am, but for now, i'm reveling in the possibilities. i'm smiling at the very thought of his eyes meeting mine. i am, for all intents and purposes, enamored.

i think this blog will get juicy again. i think it might get me in trouble sometimes, but i'm going to temper my impulses and think before i post. if you know me, you might find yourself here, that's part of the deal, but i promise to be more thoughtful.