Wednesday, February 25, 2009

i'm back

today marks the 83rd day of my hawaiian adventure, a significant day because freyja got out of quarantine and now she is hiding under the bed, though we did some snuggling earlier. it feels like we've been apart for so long, but now that she's here, it's all back to normal. hissing and purring and growling and crunch crunching kibble. i have my sidekick back. or maybe my leader, but either way i feel complete. and i've done a complete 180 from where i was just weeks ago in my lonesome madness. no more do i feel alien, no more do i cry for no reason, no more do i wonder just what the hell i'm doing here... well, almost no more. i guess i've been distracted from all that by someone. and i've relearned that i'm charming, funny, pretty, and my dreams come true all the time.

i remember the day i got freyja from the pound. she was the sweetest, most unique and curious kitten. her markings so soft and symmetrical, sort of mesmerizing. i had never seen a cat like her before, though she wasn't strange, she was my imagination come to life. as we've grown together over the years, she's been like a mirror. those who know us both tend to say we're exactly alike. i guess i can accept that i'm not that nice, i only like who i like, and i change my mind precisely when i feel like changing my mind. it's not a stretch to see that i can act mad when i'm feeling affectionate, like to be looked at but not touched, and tend to inject a little pain into my play. she helps me see that though i'm not to everyone's liking, those that like me do it madly.

in the past weeks, i've delved more deeply into the world of here and now. i've made an important ally, and i have surprising options opening all around me.

7 comments:

Maitreya said...

Awwwww.... I'm so glad you got your kitty back. I know it must've been tough without her. It always feels like there's a piece of me missing when I'm away from my kitties for a long time.
Good to hear things are going well for you.

Bon vivant said...

I'm glad you're back. Was just thinkn' the other day I wish you'd post. Sounds like you're imaging the reality you need/desire now.

Greencaller said...

Glad you're back in blogland! ^.^ Really glad to hear you got your companion back and everything's good. I don't know what I'd do if I had to leave my pets somewhere strange for 83 days! I'd go a lil' mad, lol. ^.^

Shanner said...

Cleo is out of purgatory just this week too. Fre and her have been living in parallel solitary confinement(she had been sleeping in basement) though Cleo brought it on her self by pissing on all things belonging to me or baby. She purred freakishly loud for an hour when she realized we werent gonna throw her in the basement for the night. Kinda endearing.

Chris O'Byrne said...

Welcome back, you've been missed!

Smiling tonight said...

Wow - Just in time delivery works for blog followers too.

I had decided just today that if you didn't blog again by March, I would stop checking cause I didn't want to continue to be disappointed when I checked "freedomvan" every day or two and saw nothing had been posted.

Glad you're back and happier! Glad your cat is back...and looking forward to reading what you decide to share.

Heather said...

I knew you couldn't stay away! Terry & I are looking into plane tickets to Hawaii for June.