i just played parchesi and two rounds of scrabble back to back while drinking beer with my housemate. the second round of scrabble, i had a strange idea to ask if we could play in 4D--or where you can make words go in any direction, not just two. i never played that way before, and i don't think it's normal at all. it was super fun though to be able to modify the rules. scrabble 4D, the next level...
i had a thought about my ex-eric yesterday and lo and behold he sends me an email today. i don't know what to say to him really. i've been hurt and slightly humiliated by him, which is not altogether a lesson i didn't need to learn, but i just don't know what he wants from me. i tried so hard to stay in contact, and he shunned me. that's hard to swallow, even if i did deserve it. and now he says he hopes i'm happy. well, yes eric, i'm happy living on this island. the whole depraved cycle where you entered my life started here. i went back to the beginning to start again. but no eric, it's not a guy thing--girls like to ride fast on motorcycles too. and i don't know where i am now. i can't tell which cycles started over and which were discarded, my whole life is wrapped together in a spiral of unrelenting complexity.
i heard a song a few days ago that seemed so perfect--oingo boingo's "mary". i was riding in my friends car with the warm wind flowing through my hair, and it carried me through a parallel trip on marys and my own life. it was one of those moments more common in youth when you think everything is about you, and i enjoyed the feeling i got for a while. it's fun to play the lead in my own life.
desert heat/small doge/blind faith
14 hours ago