i'm moving through the world with no guideposts but my instincts. no goals but my survival. no barriers but my ability to figure things out. these last days have been rife with confusion, waffling, doubt, and excitement. i'm on the precipice, not knowing quite what might befall me. i asked for this, i surely did. every path has obstacles, and i can't for the life of me figure out which ones i'd rather tackle. ha! you thought i made a decision?? think again. welcome to my fairy tale, a tangled wood through which i wander where every solid thing i think i see morphs and i am lost again. it's fun, yes, but tiring.
tomorrow i will search for clues in my past. my old journals i've kept stowed away hold secrets that may help me understand why i am here, where i should go, and what i've been working for. the freedom is not a goal unto itself, it's a doorway that, now opened, baffles me.
PCT SOBO part 5: buttchafe and euphoria
6 days ago