Thursday, June 4, 2009

all pau

this blog has been fading out for a while, and i guess it's time to admit it's all 'pau' (hawaiian for 'over', 'done', 'complete'). wrapping my mind around all that has happened this year, i am so grateful for the journey, the daily unfolding of surprises, and the place i landed.

i just had another birthday--31 now. i remember last year's birthday, my parents came to visit me in colorado, i showed them my van set-up, we cavorted around the mountains reconnecting our family ties, and i began to relax into my singleness. i'd made it to 30 without any serious commitments, why not use my lightness as a birds advantage and take off into the wind? the seed of my next adventure was planted, i would make one of my big dreams come true--living in a tropical paradise.

fast forward to today. i woke up cradled in the gentle embrace of a man i'd given up hoping for, in a place of unending blooming beauty, myriad birds singing me out of bed and into another day of perfection. i can't remember if i've ever been this happy. i don't expect it will last forever, but i'm going to ride this wave to the shore, and then i'm setting up my home there.

from here on out, it's our adventure. i may end up heartbroken, but i'm ok with that, this is worth it. maybe we'll move back to the mainland, pick up the chateau faded rainbow and rattle off onto the blue highways together, and if so, i may resume this blog. but for now, we are cozily nestled in our island incubator, thoughts of leaving far from our minds, and i feel more like keeping my heart a secret than blasting it into the storm of the internet.

until we meet again, mahalo nui loa to you wayfaring strangers, long time friends, family, and vandwellers....

12 comments:

Heather said...

i will miss your blog and I look foward to future entries.

10 years goes very fast. I still can't beleive it. Good times!

click clack gorilla said...

best of luck!

Anonymous said...

I remember sitting at that coffee and seeing you pull up on your motorcycle looking so sexy. I watched you take off your helmet and to my surprise as sexy as you were, you were just as cute. I am happy for you and this love that you have found. I hope Simon realizes how lucky he is and how truly special you are. I am a better person for having known you and loving you to this day makes me want to be an even better person. When I go on hikes or just outside appreciating life and the beauty of this awesome place called earth I think of you because I know you love her so. If you want your love to be forever it can be, just believe in it and always communicate. Your heart won't get broken if you can see your forever in his eyes. Be positive and have no doubts. You were a cute girl and an even more beautiful woman... inside and out.

721sandwiches said...

I was glad that the internet gave me a chance to fake-meet and learn a lot of personal information about a girl who I think is really cool. Meeting in person was a bizarreness I won't forget. It was fun, and I needed it. Times were kinda weird.

You quit the blog at a good time, I think. I hope I can read your words again in the future, but not if it means a return to a quasi-frazzled stage (which was so fun to read about). Stuff seems reeeeally good for you now. (Maybe you should switch to haiku).

Thanks thanks. I extend to you the sincerest of best wishes :)
Chris Harne

Shanner said...

Did you get my birthday card, miss 31? I sure hope so, I was thinking of you. It never came back to my address so I will have to assume the POboxaddress you gave me works. Cleo went to live on the farm, Virginias that is. Love you.
S

Red Rev said...

Remember that you have Ohana here should you ever need us...Aloha Wahine!

Anonymous said...

Bets of luck! I lived in a van for six months and saved enough to get rid of 7K in credit card debt - congratulations! Van living can be tough, especially in the city.
- Lizzie in Los Angeles

Anonymous said...

i'm so happy for you! it's such a treat coming once again to your blog after a year and finding you content and in love. i wish you the best of luck, you worked so hard.

love from nova scotia

Akasha said...

Thank you for a great blog. This is certainly a masterpiece and I just know you'll inspire so many others to pursue their dreams. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

You might like Vanabode.com - its a book I wrote on van living. I went to Hawaii twice and it is obviously beautiful. But could you please look at my book and tell me if the strategies I reveal there will work in HAWAII also? I have not tested especially with the authorities.

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Anonymous said...

Damn she has some thick legs