this blog has been fading out for a while, and i guess it's time to admit it's all 'pau' (hawaiian for 'over', 'done', 'complete'). wrapping my mind around all that has happened this year, i am so grateful for the journey, the daily unfolding of surprises, and the place i landed.
i just had another birthday--31 now. i remember last year's birthday, my parents came to visit me in colorado, i showed them my van set-up, we cavorted around the mountains reconnecting our family ties, and i began to relax into my singleness. i'd made it to 30 without any serious commitments, why not use my lightness as a birds advantage and take off into the wind? the seed of my next adventure was planted, i would make one of my big dreams come true--living in a tropical paradise.
fast forward to today. i woke up cradled in the gentle embrace of a man i'd given up hoping for, in a place of unending blooming beauty, myriad birds singing me out of bed and into another day of perfection. i can't remember if i've ever been this happy. i don't expect it will last forever, but i'm going to ride this wave to the shore, and then i'm setting up my home there.
from here on out, it's our adventure. i may end up heartbroken, but i'm ok with that, this is worth it. maybe we'll move back to the mainland, pick up the chateau faded rainbow and rattle off onto the blue highways together, and if so, i may resume this blog. but for now, we are cozily nestled in our island incubator, thoughts of leaving far from our minds, and i feel more like keeping my heart a secret than blasting it into the storm of the internet.
until we meet again, mahalo nui loa to you wayfaring strangers, long time friends, family, and vandwellers....
Noatak river paddle day 8: Okak
22 hours ago